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Classical 101

The (Music) Joke's on You

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change the bulb, and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it.

There are many tried-and-true music jokes. I will not tell any viola jokes, because they get picked on all the time. Ditto for the bassoons. How about this one?

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She holds the bulb while the world revolves around her.

(Insert laugh track here.)

At a rehearsal, the conductor stops and shouts to the bass section: "You are out of tune. Check it, please!"

The first bassist pulls all his strings and says, "Our tuning is correct; all the strings are equally tight."

The second chair turns and shouts: "You bloody idiot! It's not the tension. The pegs have to be parallel!"

(Cue double bassists to laugh here.)

To be certain, there are plenty of jokes for every section, so don't the rest of you be sitting there with smug looks on your faces.

With that in mind, here is a midweek selection of some of the best music jokes from Classic FM. Some are classics, but they're all guaranteed to, at least, induce a groan ... or maybe give you inspiration to write a couple.